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They say one of the hardest things in life is watching the person you love, love someone else. But, the hardest thing in my life is watching the person I love, love me back. Yes, that is basically a craving of everyone since they say humans would simply like to be either love or be loved. But for me why is it so . . . different? The one who loves me is the one I love back. But who will ever know? No one will ever know. As I’m trying to, keep it a secret in order to protect the reputation of mine. I think to myself that by admitting I’m in love with a less fortunate, unattractive, unimportant, brainless, anti-social human being who loves me back I’m ruining the portrayal of myself. I think and think. Is that what I want? Would I rather be with the one I love and dismiss my reputation as it is or keep my thoughts to myself and be forever unhappy with myself? As time goes by my thoughts are raging. When you don’t know what to do all you can do is wonder until you can make the decision. It may take days, weeks, months, or even years but this decision can and will change my life as I know it. My problem is not that I can’t make a decision but the society of today is forcing me to choose reputation over love. Its sad thing but what is one little person like me to do? Nothing but decided which one is more important to me. Obviously, love but also, reputation. I’m just a small and confused person living in a big and confusing world. Now that I’m growing up, things are becoming much clearer. My thoughts are not as crazy. I’m focused on my aspirations of my life and not anyone else’s. My previous thoughts were so shallow and disgusting. Knowing this, I’m 100% positive what I want to do. I want to admit to the world who I love. I love a less fortunate, unattractive, unimportant, brainless, anti-social human being who loves me back so I believe. But now, I’m ready to expose my true love to the world, and especially to the one I love. I go and I’m excited and I’m ready but it’s too late. This must be the 2nd hardest thing in life: Discovering that when it’s too late and the only thing one can do is regret what they didn't do.